How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
