the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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