i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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