Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
