So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
