My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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