On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
