I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
