So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
