this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
