I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
where are my eyebrows?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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