The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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