Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
