The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
