windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
