can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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