So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
