i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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