Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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