If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
