and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
