I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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