the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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