There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
tell me about the eggs
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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