Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
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