Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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