Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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