I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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