Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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