You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
