Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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