CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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