When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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