Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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