I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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