Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
