you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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