she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
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Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
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Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize