apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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