She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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