you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
