bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
