i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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