U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
