He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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