just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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