just tell him i said nine months
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
what the fuck happened to the tacos
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
