Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
