dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
