Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
