How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
