i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize