Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
