i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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