Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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