This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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