Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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