yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
