no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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