The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
