cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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