I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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