I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with two different species that night
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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