The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
