Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
