there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize