Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
