I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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