people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
