So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
