How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
