Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize